This feels like a super important message to share right now, as well as what I’ve been lately up to.
Hang in with me while I explain.
When my marriage blew up 5+ years ago, one of things that got me through it was becoming 100% committed to understanding how relationships and humans work, not only that I’d never be in a similar situation ever again, but so I could tell my daughters I had done everything a human being can, as well as help other people.
It’s been an incredible journey and it’s only getting better.
If you know me at all, you can just imagine me up to my eyeballs in babies, feeding snacks, cleaning up messes, in every possible moment devouring hundreds of books on marriage, love and relationships, attending therapy and workshops, trying to… I don’t know, save my life, sanity and soul, but probably most importantly to keep home and a sense of meaning not to sink into a sense of complete despair. You also know, I did not stop at hope. I went all the way to Seattle to study with John and Julie Gottmann at their institute about what makes and breaks relationships. I took professional trainings online and in person studying attachment styles and how they show up and shape our way of interacting with others and the world. I studied trauma and how to rewire and calm our brains and bodies after devastating experiences. I literally learned everything I could about relationships from the very best in the world.
Two years ago I took a plunge and delved into a 600-hour coaching program with Layla Martin studying sex, love & relationships. I knew, if I was to help others to have the best relationships possible, I could not leave sexuality out of it. In fact, I knew it was a crucial component, an elephant in the room often not talked about at all, neither in the bedroom, nor in therapy office, and it made all the difference.
It’s been a wild ride.
Not only I got to delve deep into my own psyche and bring even more consciousness to my own beliefs around sex, love and relationships; study for over a year with a badass visionary and revolutionary Layla Martin, founder of Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality and a very successful coaching business and a brand; I gained a tribe of sisters all over the world, committed to their own growth, development and transformation, like no other. I gained inspiration, shared vision for a better world, as well as compassionate accountability from incredible coaches in my program already doing super important work and making incredible contributions.
Lately, it’s becoming more and more apparent that I can’t keep this journey to myself. It’s selfish and ego driven to hide until I arrive at some abstract perfection.
The truth is that while going through my program, studying neuroscience, trauma, modern coaching tools as well as ancient time tested Tantric and Taoist practices, I healed, I grew, I transformed.
It would take many posts to share truth about my journey, but I’ll tell you this much right now.
By working with my body, my unconscious beliefs around men, femininity, relationships and sexuality,
I HEALED MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN.
It doesn’t mean I’m not affected by toxic behaviors. Challenging things and relationships still happen of course, after all I didn’t move to live on the moon, nor I became a nun 😂 😂 🤣 . It’s just the way I relate to them changed drastically.
Here are some things that have been happening in the last few months, that were completely new to me at first, but are becoming a norm, and I just love it so:
✅ I have genuine friendships with men now;
✅ random men go out of their way to help me;
I remember the days when I looked lost for a minute in a public place, I’d get some kind of creepy attention;
Now I get genuine assistance and help;
✅ I go out for a walk with a friend and come back to a phone number and a sweet note tucked under my windshield asking me to please call, because I’m so cute lol
✅ attractive waiters write their phone numbers on the bill;
✅ gorgeous men 15+ years younger slide into my DMs;
✅ I get free drinks and stuff anywhere I go;
✅ deli owners bring me coffee with freshly whipped cream, free of charge, as I stop by to buy some fruit;
✅ bartenders at places I’ve only been a couple of times remember my name and have my favorite drink out for me “on the house” as I arrive;
✅ I asked about a beer on special the other day, as I was leaving and it was packed to go for me to try at home, “on us”;
Friends marvel when I share I am approached by men anywhere I go and I have not had a bad experience.
After 2+ years of intended flying solo + celibacy while I focused on healing, myself and my family, I am starting to open up to dating and it literally has been a blast.
Men have been approaching me, they are showing up in amazing ways, eager to share experiences, their wallets and hearts.
I choke up as I write this…
I’ve recently finally asked friends if they thought I should go on tinder.
Honestly, I’ve been too busy.
I just had an amazing 3-week adventure with a gorgeous guy from Europe, who took me to 5-star restaurants, live music events, dancing, catering to my every desire and treating me like a queen. I absolutely loved every minute of it.
A few years ago in the middle of the worst heartbreak imaginable during my separation and divorce, a male friend gave me a hug and I dissociated, then I burst into tears as I realized how unsafe I felt with a man, even with a good friend.
I’ve been working on it since.
Ladies, this is an official announcement that I freaking LOVE men again, in fact I love them more than ever, and I’m having an absolute ball reconnecting with them, in whatever way feels genuine, authentic and aligned to me in the moment, anywhere I go.
If this is not conscious and empowered relating, then I don’t know what is.
Please stay tuned as I continue my journey and share my recent and upcoming adventures.
P.S: if you are fed up with your situation, can not wait, ready to shift your experiences with men right now, or simply must hear more about my journey and how I created this transformation, please send me a private message. If I can do it, anyone can.