The war of sexes needs to end or we are all going down.
It’s not just an idealistic adage. It’s plain and simple reality. It’s also science.
As a certified relationships, sexuality and life coach, I’m here to tell you that there’s plenty of research proving beyond shadow of the doubt that intimacy is good for you. When you are in secure functioning relationships you get sick less. You recover quicker. Faced with trauma, you have less chances of developing PTSD.
We can not have intimacy from the place of having power over one another. It does not work this way. It is not men against women. It is not about women punishing men. It is not about who is better or more important. It is not about who has it harder. Or who is winning. It never was. It never will be. When we adopt this skewed thinking, we all lose.
This old rhetoric that outlived itself is a lie and exactly the problem. We have to zoom out. We have to take a breath. We need to start looking at a big picture.
The truth is men and women both possess feminine and masculine qualities. We are not complete without both.
When we hold feminine qualities like feeling emotions, creativity, intuition, being rather than doing, etc. in contempt and exalt masculine qualities like logic, competing, dominating, etc. we ALL lose.
We can not be authentic without embracing all of ourselves. We can not have healthy relationships with others without accepting and celebrating both our feminine and masculine qualities. We can not achieve all of what we could be. We can not be truly confident without accepting all of who we are.
When as men we disconnect from our inner feminine, we get stuck in insecurity, fear and hatred towards ourselves and others. we become real LOOSERS.
When as women we disconnect from our inner feminine, we hate on other women, we become mean girls, we can not sustain female friendships or healthy relationships with other men, we emasculate, we hate ourselves.
When as women we disconnect from our inner masculine, we become toxic feminists, we hate all men, even the ones that are our brothers.
When we embrace both our feminine and masculine qualities we can finally grow up. We can be whole. We can express all of who we are and give permission to others to do the same. We no longer have to hold back. We can go after our dreams. We can achieve, be strong and powerful and still be feminine. We no longer have to emasculate men for having emotions, embracing their intuition, etc. We can support them to be all of who they are. We no longer need to chase after jerks. In fact we can throw out the concept of equating domineering jerks as being somehow sexy. We can have a voice. We can take a stand. We can be leaders without having to become men. We get to have chemistry. We get to have play. We don’t have to dumb ourselves down or dull our shine. We no longer have to fit ourselves into a rigid role. We can embrace all kinds of beauty. We no longer need to objectify ourselves or other women to be less threatening. We don’t have to fake positivity in the face of a shit storm. We can be fucking pissed if situation warrants it. As men, we can be scared and still be brave without our balls cut off. We can be sad and hurt when life delivers a blow and remain gloriously masculine. We can all be human and be amazing.
We can have incredible intimacy, relationships and epic sex. We can embrace and celebrate other women and have beautiful friendships. We can be a safe harbor for both women and men. We can work together on solving world’s problems.
If you are feeling me and this message, please comment BOTH below. We’ve got this TOGETHER.
“I was weak. Now I’m strong. I’m going to bring my full voice to this relationship, stand toe to toe with you and help you succeed with me, because I want you to win. I love you”, Terry Real